2023 NFL Week 17 Power Rankings and Perspectives

New year, new design, new power rankings setup. I found team blurbs got redundant, and that’s just bad writing. And you deserve better.

Leading into the week formerly known as the regular season finale, I feel like it’s important to consider some different perspectives of NFL narratives that have gotten out of control.

Perspective 1: The Ravening

The Ravens were always this good. Frankly, the rest of the league should be relieved that J.K. Dobbins and Mark Andrews are out.

I had them ranked 4th after the draft and 3rd after preseason. I’ve had them 1st since week 14, despite a fair amount of ridicule for not acknowledging the 49ers obvious supremacy.

In week 2 of 2022, I said I would take Lamar Jackson and any 21 other players to start a franchise (ignore that I also had the Chargers number 1 at that point). What he did to the Niners is exactly why. He dismantled one of the best defenses in the league through the air, and then when they finally got to him and everyone was covered, he broke poor Fred Warner’s ankles and converted a 3rd and long. There is nothing he can’t do on a football field.

Except break a tackle from a ref.

Perspective 2: Football A La Carte

The amount of complaining I saw about the Bills and Chargers game only being on Peacock was astounding. To many fans, it was indicative of the greedy NFL stealing from loyal fans.

Here’s a different perspective. If it had been broadcast as a regular game on Fox or CBS on a Sunday afternoon, it would’ve been buried behind 2 other games and you wouldn’t have seen it anyway. Unless you have Sunday Ticket, for which you paid far more than a month of Peacock.

Instead, you were given the option to pay a few bucks and see it in a non-competitive time slot. This is exactly what I’ve been wanting the league to do for years.

Perspective 3: Purdy Benched

Brock Purdy was not benched. He had a stinger. This is perhaps where those who have played the game and those who haven’t separate on opinion. If you’ve never experienced a stinger, there’s no way to properly explain what it would be like to throw a football 10 minutes later.

Throw in that they were down by 3 TDs, the offensive line was in shambles, and despite all the pageantry this game brought, it was ultimately just a non-conference game. There was no benefit to putting Purdy back out there.

Perspective 4: Flailing Con Artist Clicks

I won’t say his name or link his tweet because he doesn’t deserve it, but Twitter or W or whatever it’s called now was treated to the hot take that Taylor Swift is causing a distraction, and that’s why the Chiefs have been bad.

This take is not old, it’s ancient. It’s borderline primordial. For basically all of human history, men have maintained power by insisting that if women get too involved and opinionated, we’ll be too distracted.

The reality is that it’s always just been an excuse to maintain power. That way if a woman questions it, we could always be like “of course we would love to hear your opinions, but you’re just so pretty!”

These guys have played and won on the biggest stage of the biggest sport in America. If there is any truth to the notion that her presence is a distraction, that’s on those grown ass men on the field.

Twitter is dead. Come talk football with me on Threads!

Perspective 5: Antonio Has Fancy Plans, and Pants to Match

If Antonio Pierce isn’t the Raiders head coach next year, I will move to Vegas and lead the charge to run Mark Davis out of town.

Week 17 Power Rankings

1. Baltimore Ravens (12-3)
2. Miami Dolphins (11-4)
3. San Francisco 49ers (11-4)
4. Buffalo Bills (9-6)
5. Philadelphia Eagles (11-4)
6. Cleveland Browns (10-5)
7. Kansas City Chiefs (9-6)
8. Dallas Cowboys (10-5) 
9. Detroit Lions (11-4)
10. Houston Texans (8-7)
11. Los Angeles Rams (8-7)
12. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8-7)
13. Jacksonville Jaguars (8-7)
14. Indianapolis Colts (8-7)
15. Vegas Raiders (7-8)
16. Seattle Seahawks (8-7)
17. Cincinnati Bengals (8-7)
18. Green Bay Packers (7-8)
19. Atlanta Falcons (7-8)
20. Pittsburgh Steelers (8-7)
21. New Orleans Saints (7-8)
22. Tennessee Titans (5-10)
23. Denver Broncos (7-8)
24. New York Giants (5-10)
25. Minnesota Vikings (7-8)
26. Chicago Bears (6-9)
27. New York Jets (6-9)
28. Los Angeles Chargers (5-10)
29. Washington Commanders (4-11)
30. New England Patriots (4-11)
31. Arizona Cardinals (3-12)
32. Carolina Panthers (2-13)