Welcome to the Owner’s Meetings Edition of The hell going on power rankings! Yes, it’s that famous time of year when the owners all get together and offer up sacrifices to the football gods.
Or, you know, nothing happens. Although this year’s meetings did present some interesting information. As owners have started selling minority stakes to increase cash flow, the result of that is a valuation of a team looking to make that deal. That information will be critical the next time a team goes up for sale.
Part of me wants them to really up the stakes for those stakes… like two rival teams try to sell a few shares to Drake and Kendrick. Maybe the Falcons and the Saints. And since they play twice a year, whoever has the home team starts the game with a diss track, and the other gets to respond later in the year when it’s their home game.
Heading into week 15 (well, technically it already started, but I refuse to accept that Thursday’s Niners-Rams game ever happened), the field of contenders is still wide open. Anyone in this top 10 is capable of going on a playoff run.
As always, may all your teams win or be the team that has to sell shares to Drake.
Week 15 NFL Power Rankings
1. Detroit Lions (12-1)
A convincing win over the Packers should quiet any lingering doubters. Now they get to really prove themselves, in case anyone is still not sure, as they welcome the Bills this week.
You know how sometimes an announcer will be like “x QB completed a pass to 8 different receivers” or whatever. Last week, Jared Goff completed at least 5 passes to 6 different receivers. That’s such a silly stat.
2. Philadelphia Eagles (11-2)
Yeah, now y’all wanna jump on board this train, huh? Last week’s win may not have been all that pretty over the Panthers, but that same Panthers team took the Chiefs to the wire.
Re: A.J. Brown and Jalen Hurts… I don’t care. Winning has a heck of a way of making people you don’t like into tolerable co-workers. Hurts and Brown seem just fine without being besties.
3. Buffalo Bills (10-3)
Josh Allen had just an absurd game against the Rams, accounting for all six TDs… three passing, three running. And somehow they still lost, 44-42.
So with that being said… any chance he could play some DB?
4. Kansas City Chiefs (12-1)
No, I refuse to keep acknowledging this team’s record. They have that record with a +56 point differential. I can’t even wrap my head around that. That’s 11th in the NFL. It’s third in their own division. All I will say is that if NFL Honors weren’t so focused on statistics, Chris Jones would be DPOY and in the running for MVP. He’s the single-most important player on the field for the Chiefs at any time.
5. Minnesota Vikings (11-2)
I saw a lot of people this week complaining that the Vikings-Bears game on Monday night didn’t get flexed out for a better game. Are you serious? rivalries will always be rivalries. Also, the Bears aren’t as bad as their record… they just happen to play in the most absurdly dominant division. Take away their three losses in division, all by a field goal or less, and they’re 4-6.
A rivalry will always be hard-fought, and a surprisingly good Vikings team going up against the top draft pick on a team that’s showed promise at times this season will always be good TV.
6. Pittsburgh Steelers (10-3)
Lions play the Bills at the same time as the Steelers play the Eagles. That’s four of my top six. Okay, maybe flex out the Vikings and Bears.
7. Green Bay Packers (9-4)
Last week’s loss to the Lions was the kind of game you come out of thinking… okay cool, we can run with the big boys. That was a much better showing than the previous one against the Lions, and a great game to build momentum from heading into the last four weeks.
8. Baltimore Ravens (8-5)
Still as low as I can put them. A much-needed bye week followed by what should be a cakewalk against the Giants should give the Ravens an upward trajectory.
And I’ll keep bringing it up until he takes his first snap… Keaton Mitchell is back. There is nothing better at the end of a season than fresh legs. Sure, he’s coming off a major injury, but he also hasn’t been getting his legs hammered by should pads and helmets all season. Every-down defensive players are closing in on a thousand snaps this season, and now they gotta pick between Lamar Jackson and Derrick Henry on an RPO, followed by having to catch Keaton Mitchell on a screen.
Anything less than finishing 12-5 should be a disappointment in Baltimore.
9. Los Angeles Chargers (8-5)
I no longer blame anyone for losing a close game to the Chiefs. If the final score is within a touchdown, there’s just no way. The Chargers really miss J.K. Dobbins, who hopefully will be back by the end of the season, or at least the playoffs. Ladd McConkey, aka Ladeedee Mackongkay, appears to be a game-time decision, and they could really use that safety blanket for Justin Herbert.
10. Washington Commanders (8-5)
Big win, followed by a bye, followed by the Saints. Classic trap game with the Eagles coming up next. Time to see how a healthier Jayden Daniels caps off what could and should be an Offensive Rookie of the Year season.
