A short, busy week means short, busy analysis-or-anecdote. I’m also frantically trying to put together content for the new Tailgate Corner I’ll be unveiling soon, starting with the easiest of 3 ways to make gameday queso.
As always, may all your teams win or eat way too much this weekend because it’s socially acceptable.
- 1. Philadelphia Eagles
- 2. Baltimore Ravens
- 3. San Francisco 49ers
- 4. Kansas City Chiefs
- 5. Miami Dolphins
- 6. Detroit Lions
- 7. Dallas Cowboys
- 8. Jacksonville Jaguars
- 9. Cleveland Browns
- 10. Buffalo Bills
- 11. Houston Texans
- 12. Denver Broncos
- 13. Minnesota Vikings
- 14. Pittsburgh Steelers
- 15. New Orleans Saints
- 16. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
- 17. Indianapolis Colts
- 18. Seattle Seahawks
- 19. Vegas Raiders
- 20. Cincinnati Bengals
- 21. Green Bay Packers
- 22. Los Angeles Chargers
- 23. Los Angeles Rams
- 24. Atlanta Falcons
- 25. Washington Commanders
- 26. New York Jets
- 27. Tennessee Titans
- 28. Chicago Bears
- 29. New York Giants
- 30. Arizona Cardinals
- 31. Carolina Panthers
- 32. New England Patriots
1. Philadelphia Eagles
This shouldn’t be a surprise. Top team beats the next ranked team and stays the top team. Even if they lost, I’d probably give bonus points for Jalen Carter trying to intercept a QB clock spike.
2. Baltimore Ravens
8-3 after beating up on the Bengals, now they get a Sunday nighter against the woefully confused Chargers leading into the long-awaited bye week. Win or lose, Ravens are in a great position leading the stretch. If they hadn’t lost Mark Andrews for the year, they might be on top.
3. San Francisco 49ers
Remember when Brock Purdy was a fraud? Still waiting for people to admit they were wrong about that.
4. Kansas City Chiefs
Marquez Valdes-Scantling drops passes sometimes. If you weren’t aware of this, you haven’t been paying attention. His value is that he’s always a deep threat, and you can’t expect him to always drop it. He takes the top off, which opens things for others.
5. Miami Dolphins
Not the prettiest win over the Raiders, but a win nonetheless. Tyreek Hill is now on pace for 1,955 yards in 16 games and 2077 yards in 17 games.
6. Detroit Lions
Everyone has been waiting for Jared Goff to fail. And he almost did, until he didn’t. Lions are for real.
Also, screw anyone trashing Scott Mitchell. He had some decent years and Wayne Fontes doesn’t get to act like the QB he kept trotting out there us the reason they never won a Super Bowl. This will have its own article later.
7. Dallas Cowboys
The Dallas Cowboys would be so good if that roster and coaching staff was on almost any other team.
8. Jacksonville Jaguars
Trevor Lawrence remembered he has Calvin Ridley on his team. Good to see right before fantasy playoffs.
9. Cleveland Browns
Dorian Thompson-Robinson is ready to lock in his spot as the team figures out what to do with Deshaun Watson and his ridiculous contract.
10. Buffalo Bills
6-5 and hanging on the edge of the top 10 after beating up the Jets. Positive game for Josh Allen, and Khalil Shakir is the real deal. Now can they go to Philly and beat the Eagles?
11. Houston Texans
C.J. Stroud is the Tim Duncan of the NFL. He stepped in and was immediately one of the best players in the league. The only difference is that C.J. was picked 2nd. And Davis Mills isn’t David Robinson.
12. Denver Broncos
Huge jump for the Broncos, but for good reason. Russell Wilson looks more confident than I’ve seen him since he got to Denver, so good for him and Sean Payton. But it helps that Courtland Sutton catches everything in his radius.
And quick shoutout to Jerry Jeudy for one of the funniest fakes I’ve seen in a long time when he made a catch and pump faked like he was gonna throw it.
13. Minnesota Vikings
Even if they draft a QB, the Vikings need to give Joshua Dobbs a 2-year deal. Cut Kirk Cousins loose. This offense can be a monster behind Dobbs.
14. Pittsburgh Steelers
I really wanted Mike Tomlin to stick with Matt Canada through the season. Not because he deserves it, but because I love the thought of Tomlin showing the fans he’s in charge.
15. New Orleans Saints
Big game this week to determine if the NFC South leader will have a winning record. Sigh.
16. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
If they beat the Colts and Atlanta beats the Saints, there’s a 3-way tie stop the South at 5-6. Double sigh.
17. Indianapolis Colts
Excited to see what Shane Steichen put together with a bye week and more time with Gardner Minshew II, plus healthy Jonathan Taylor. Don’t sleep on this team.N
ot thrilled about the release of Shaquille Leonard, though. Really curious what might have happened behind the scenes to lead to that.
18. Seattle Seahawks
Consistently inconsistent. Frustratingly so.
19. Vegas Raiders
So it turns out Aiden O’Connell may need some time to develop. Not sure how long Davante Adams is willing to wait, but the rest of this year will be a tryout to keel the best WR in the league.
20. Cincinnati Bengals
Huge drop in the rankings. That’s how important Joe Burrow is to the Bengals. Maybe Jake Browning will impress with time to prepare, but I’m not convinced til I see something.
21. Green Bay Packers
Impressive win over the Chargers, even though the Chargers practically handed the game over. Every week, Jordan Love seems more comfortable with his young receivers. Unfortunately, he’ll be missing TE Luke Musgrave the next 4 games with a lacerated kidney, which has to be in the top 5 of worst-sounding injuries.
22. Los Angeles Chargers
No, I refuse to evaluate this team until Brandon Staley is gone, especially after reporters called out his defensive scheme and he used the opportunity to trash his offense. He is not a head coach, and I don’t trust anything I see from his players as long as he’s there.
23. Los Angeles Rams
If the Rams beat the Cardinals on Sunday, they’ll be 5-6. That should shock a lot of people, cause they seemed to be cooked long ago.
Bonus coverage of Geno Smith freaking out about Aaron Donald coming at him untouched. And nothing against Geno… everyone would and should respond like this.
24. Atlanta Falcons
Can’t believe I had these guys in the top 10 to start the year. This crow tastes a bit gamey.
25. Washington Commanders
Back at 25 where they belong, at least until they stop pretending they have their QB position figured out.
26. New York Jets
Free Tim Boyle! Oh, you did? Good luck with that.
27. Tennessee Titans
Growing pains of a rookie QB. Will Levis will find his way, but it takes time. Not everyone can be Stroud.
28. Chicago Bears
Finish a football game. Just once.
29. New York Giants
You think the Giants would stick with Tommy DeVito if he plays a few more 3 TD games? I need this to happen.
30. Arizona Cardinals
Kyler Murray may be more prepared than ever, but the team around him has been whittled down while he was away.
31. Carolina Panthers
The worst thing about having the worst record in the league after already trading your 1st round pick is that you can’t even subtly hint that you’re playing bad cause you’re tanking. They’re just bad.
32. New England Patriots
Is Bill Belichick trying to get fired? Seriously asking. Cause if he wants to go somewhere else, he won’t wanna go there as part of a trade that gives away his new team’s draft picks. Robert Kraft better be ready to play chess, cause every aspect of the Boston offseason will be scrutinized.
The best I can say about Miami’s win yesterday is they got it. Costly injury to Phillips and Tua and the offense are not looking other worldly these days. But I do like the running game and the defense is looking better so we’ll see.
Running game looks great, and it’s nice to see Waddle getting into more of a groove. Achane will be back soon, too.
But yeah, Phillips could be a big loss. I haven’t heard an update since hearing possible ruptured Achilles, which is an injury I feel like happened once a year before and now it’s happening once a week.
And Waddle, yes. If he is on the upswing, it gives us a much better chance. I kinda like how the Dolphins are being given short shrift as a contender because of their inability to beat winning clubs. Maybe it will light a fire under them, who knows?
The Cowboys game in Dallas on Christmas Eve. I’m not delusional, but really all I want is for the defense to show me something and for the offense to give them a game.
Also, Tyreek is now on pace for 1,925 in 16 games, 2,046 in 17. I really want him to get the record in 16 so we don’t have to hear any asterisk garbage.
I didn’t think about that, yeah. But honestly, I would be okay with Hill not getting the record if it meant the running game was working. Achane is a keeper, problem being his ability or inability to stay on the field.